Five years ago, on the first day of my first ever Journalism class (in recitation, actually), our teacher’s assistant told us to always do one thing to develop our writing: carry a small notebook around and write down what we observe with our eyes and ears. Be a people-watcher, she said. Don’t ever stop. Turns out, the things people say, when out of context, are pretty damn hilarious. So take a little break and laugh.
You know what the secret life is? You go to Miss Patty and ask for the barbecue chicken. It’ll solve your problems.
I’m an old lady. I’m gonna be 24 next week.
NYU is basically one massive gay bar.
Organized religion is, essentially, an international book club.
It’s not just playing games for an hour and a half. Yoga for children is a philosophy.
I’m doing my small part in keeping people suicidal.
I really feel like if we take our vacation decisions together, we might be mature enough to get married.
I don’t know, as soon as I walk into the children’s hospital, I feel happy.
I really just don’t like her because she’s the reason Batman almost died.
Maybe the next big thing will be, just, normal people, you know?
Thanks for the creepy memories, New York.