Because it keeps your skin looking young. Because the doctor told me to. Because, according to my family history, I should have gotten diabetes, like, last Tuesday. Because it’s responsible.
I update my Google calendar. It keeps me organized. It trains me for a job-job. It helps me remember what time that interview is supposed to be and who I’m Skyping with this weekend.
I avoid some people. I’ve learned, painfully, that people suck.
If you had told me when I was 10, that I would be a cynical, doubtful person when I hit my 20′s, I wouldn’t have believed it. Because, you see, this isn’t who I am. This is me, but with the dust of the world on my clothes, and a hardened gaze as a shield.
I’ve learned the world, like everyone else, through experiences like sending out my 217th resume, or hate-”liking” an “I got engaged!” status on Facebook, or powering through an awkward hug with someone you once giggled through a movie with.
I’ve learned the world through watching, from the front row, a relationship whither and die, having that second cupcake and hating yourself for the next week for it, then hating yourself for caring.
I’ve learned the world through hitting an age where you yourself choose to start taking one-a-day vitamins, consciously deciding to stop buying t-shirts, finding an old diary and reading that, in your nine-year-old self’s plans, you would have met a nice, suitable guy, like, last Tuesday. I’ve learned the world through feeling someone give up on me and understanding that, this is actually what life is, and movies are just there to make you feel better about it temporarily.
I carry a water bottle now because you never know when you’ll taste salt water, realize it’s coming from your own eyes, and need to replenish your soul.